Definitely not sugar, spice, and all things nice
It turns out there can be such a thing as too much Christmas cheer, especially during the week before the big day when we’re sick of the sight of the cute snowmen shops have been hawking since October and rag-tag bands of singers are prowling the streets, vocally murdering every carol you thought you liked and having the gall to ask for money for doing so. It’s enough to make anyone turn to Home Alone’s Kevin McCallister for festive inspiration, rigging up red-hot irons and blowtorches to fend off anyone who dares to get too close.
Unfortunately in the real world his style of destructive improvisation is not seen as the ingenious work of a mischievous scamp trying to protect themselves from harm, so we’ll have to settle for the next best thing instead: Switch games that either allow us to be more than a little bit mean ourselves or give us the chance to escape for a short while into a world that’s more All Hallows’ Eve than Christmas Eve.
Let's take a look at nine great Switch games for exploring your dark side...
It’s quite easy to be evil when you’re playing as a questionably sentient mass of teeth and fury, squeezing through small gaps and violently tearing barriers apart all in a bid to devour your latest victim in a blood-spraying frenzy — always accompanied by a selection of gruesome sound effects we can only describe as ‘sticky’.
By design you are not a character but an unrelenting predator in Carrion, every act causing more destruction and inching you ever closer to inevitable, terrifying, humanity-destroying, freedom.
Does your seasonal humbug need a more personal touch? What could be better than secretly offing someone in Electrical and then lying through your teeth about it so you can do the same again to your next victim(s), until you’ve quite literally stabbed everyone in the back and gotten away with murdering the entire crew, some of which may have been friends and family?
“It was cyan! It was cyan! I saw them!” you type in the chat box, a wicked grin silently splitting your face in two.
A trio of games so naughty that the series has caused public outcry and much pearl-clutching on various continents multiple times.
With three games to choose from, each more detailed than the last, there’s a veritable smorgasbord of criminal activity available here that makes it almost impossible to behave even if you wanted to — and you don’t want to, do you? Look at all those boring cars, just driving around and obeying the law. It’d be a shame if someone stole one and gave the fuzz some exercise, wouldn’t it?
We can even heap some bonus meta-naughtiness on top, seeing as these are bad ports of great games. Yes, this collection is certainly on our naughty list this year.
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Seeing as the series’ baseline behaviour involves fighting every deity you’ve ever heard of and dozens more besides, Shin Megami Tensei V’s an easy pick for this naughty list... er, list. Better still, you also get the chance to revel in the fascinating philosophical contradiction of being good and bad all at once, as depending on your whims all of humanity could be “saved” at the expense of blindly worshipping and obeying the divine forevermore, or could be given true freedom, every mortal and immortal alike left to choose and fend for themselves in a lawless world.
Or you can take one of a number of other equally morally obtuse paths, perfectly aware that, for some, order is just another word for tyranny, and the freedom of chaos invites the physically strong to crush whoever they like without redress. Deep.
Sure, you could be an intergalactic goody two-shoes in Bioware’s classic RPG if you really wanted to, always being the most predictably good and boring Jedi a galaxy far, far, away has ever seen. But we know how that usually ends for Star Wars characters already — something about a noble sacrifice and a brief appearance later surrounded by a blue glow.
Why not indulge your inner HK-47 for once and go find something to kill to cheer yourself up? You know you want to, meatbag.
If there’s one thing this holiday season’s lacking, it’s got to be dominion over the dead.
Pick Necromancer. Call upon an army of the departed to do your bidding. Use your own blood to summon golems to smite your enemies. Love the fact that one of your skills is named ‘Corpse Explosion’, and does exactly what it says on the tin. Embrace throwing your head back and cackling loudly as you carve a path through your foes, much to the alarm of everyone else in the room.
SPOILERS! On top of oodles of sometimes quite disgusting monsters, Aria of Sorrow, the final game in this M2-blessed collection, has a surprise dark twist should you fall at the final hurdle.
The unnaturally beautiful Soma Cruz with the fabulous coat — a young man who’s already spent much of the game struggling under the influence of Dracula’s powers — won’t die but will instead finally succumb to the vampiric will of his former self, and is last seen casually sitting on a throne, sipping a conspicuously red liquid from a glass.
Campari and ice, apparently. The fiend.
Definitely don’t get her wet, and feeding her after midnight is probably ill-advised, too. The soggy star of Tecmo’s spook ‘em up may not be evil herself — unless you consider denying the vicious hangers-on of the afterlife the chance to kill her 'evil' — but the game’s dark plot is still more than sinister enough on its own to drown out another round of cheery mulled wine driven sing-song.
Corpse Party's unusual title promises dead bodies as well as group fun; and as strange as that sounds it turns out to be enthusiastically accurate on both counts.
If you’re lucky — and you won’t be — you’ll “only” encounter deadly ghost-children whose heads have been removed and a whole host of other scenes that don’t belong even in your strongest cheese-fuelled nightmares. Find yourself caught up in one of the game’s many ‘Wrong Ends’ and you’ll encounter scenarios so gruesome you’ll be ecstatic to see your gran draped in tinsel, sleeping off her twentieth mince pie.
These are our ‘bah humbug’ picks, but what are yours? Let us know in the comments below!
Danganronpa (or however it’s spelled) would go nicely on this list
Cthulhu Saves Christmas, that game will get you on the Naughty List. Funny game where Cthulhu saves Christmas for all the wrong reasons. Interesting turn-based battles, a bit of life sim. This game is worth getting on the Naughty List.
Getting on the naughty list... what?! What does this even mean? Nintendo Life, are you running out of material to report on? 👿
@RubyDevilNine I was think same thing as I scrolled down reading.
tbh, when I saw this list I assumed it would have Sakura Santa.
If you buy GTA trilogy as a gift for someone. Seeing as it hardly works, you'd not be in their good books.
It's weird to see the same website recommending GTA trilogy when they said it was a complete mess. You deserve to be on the naughty list!
This is not one of the 'best of' guide features so not really 'recommendations'. @Rhaoulos
A 'best of' list for M-rated Switch games would actually be kind of interesting. It definitely wouldn't contain GTA. Or family friendly games like Among Us. This current list is a bit of a hodgepodge but naughtiness is kind of ill-defined and this is just a sample selection.
Not entirely sure what this list is going for, but I won't complain about Corpse Party being given more exposure. Probably a better fit for a Halloween list, though.
Darkest Dungeon should be in everyone's naughty list. The roguelite where you're encouraged to push your disposable heroes to the brink of insanity and then make them keep walking. Heroes can develop charming character traits such as masochism, paranoia and kleptomania, and become abusive towards each other even before the enemies start charming them.
In between tragic dungeon crawls, let your paragons of "virtue" recover in the gambling hall, go to the cathedral for some healthy flagellation, or head towards the brothel for your stress relief - unless you have acquired Deviant Tastes, in which case you are no longer welcome at the brothel.
Good healthy hijinks for all ages.
How are people struggling with the premise of this article?!? A naughty list at Xmas is definitely a thing….
@RubyDevilNine Santa - that bloke to do with Christmas. Wears red and has a white beard. Delivers presents…. He has a list of all children for presents with a nice list and a naughty list….
Surely you have heard of this?!?
@JasmineDragon Yeah, I can second Darkest Dungeon. Not sure about it being for 'all ages' though xD
I have neither of those games, but I do want to invest in Castlevania Advance Collection...
So much talk about being naughty in Switch games, and not a word about Untitled Goose Game?
You could add Monster Hunter Rise to the list. Sure you're supposed to be protecting your village, but the sheer number of beasts you kill during your grindfest paints you as little more than an Armored Cruella DeVille.
Those two shooter games where you strip girls of their clothing aren't on here?
@Stocksy i think Ruby knows what that is. Is the fact that NL has to greenlit an article like this that is her(his?) issue.
@RubyDevilNine probably just trying to get some more cash from those product links to pay for the office Christmas party.😁
If I’d want to make a “naughty” list of games on the switch, I think:
Catherine Gal*Gun Bayonetta Knights of Azure 2 Atelier Ryza etc
Would make more sense (than KOTOR or Diablo 2). Kind regards!
Don’t listen to ‘em, NL. I dig these articles. Just seeing the header made me smile.
Diablo II will get you on the naughty list for supporting Blizzard
GTA trilogy is what you get for people on the naughty list
Blue Reflection 2nd Light would fit in perfectly too.
I agree, this list should have been much longer. Gal Gun especially. And SENRAN KAGURA Peach Ball too.
Binding of Isaac would have made sense but nevermind...
I just saved christmas in Saint's Row 4, that sale is ridiculous. An absolute steal, but guaranteed to get you on the nice list when you save christmas itself.
GTA Trilogy is what you get if you’re already on the naughty list
GTA Trilogy or charcoal for being on the naughty list? I'd take the latter. Thanks.
Blasphemous is missing on the list. It's got that 16th century Catholic vibe we all need for Christmas. 🤣
@HammerGalladeBro You can at least keep the charcoal and use it for a BBQ in summer.
I've committed enough crimes in Among Us alone to put myself on the naughty list until the Sun dies.
Pretty unfortunate that the GTA Trilogy is as bad as it is, because I’ve never played GTA before and would consider trying it if it performed better.
@P-Man the best way to play the old trilogy is picking up the original Xbox ports. They were enhanced already.
@JasmineDragon You just sold me on this game. Thanks.
Saints Row Iv is a great one for this list. And being that’s it’s on sale here in the US for less than three dollars is a steal.
If I was rich, everybody I know would have a copy of Dragon’s Dogma Dark Arisen in their stocking. Even if they didn’t own a console.
You got GTA there, but not Saints Row? For shame.
A very dumb list overall, and also admitting GTA trilogy are bad ports, yet adding an Amazon link for people to buy said bad ports, is truly pathetic. Nothing from this site do I ever take seriously.
@EVIL-C Did they lie about the games? NL has to keep the lights on, just like you.
I bought Saint’s Row IV for £2.44 on the eShop the other day. If it’s possible to get a game like that running on the Switch it’s appalling that GTA is in such a state.
This article is so weird and senseless... I don't... even feel like cont..i...n.....u...i.......n..............
@Nancyboy Journalistic integrity isn't what it used to be.
Ironically Santa was invented by a company that sells carbonated poison as a drink to kids.
@Mattock1987 I dunno how they didn't include the newly released Danganronpa ports for Switch
Why still no review for Corpse Party?
Say what you will about NL's articles, in general, but I feel like this is at least appropriate to report on because this is about Switch games that exist and aren't speculative or whining that it's not coming to Switch.
Shin Megami Tensei... Blasphemy the Game! I remember one time describing the plot of SMT IV to one of my coworkers, but another guy who takes his religion very seriously was also in the room and he looked at me like God was about to strike me dead.
And as far as the controversy of them including an Amazon link to GTA Trilogy; they are giving you fair warning of the state of the games, and I don't know if this applies evenly to the Switch port, but I've heard patches are rolling out that fix the games. They probably will become worth playing for people who are interested (I personally have no interest in them).
I agree with the comments, GTA but no saints row?
@P-Man to be fair, the majority of the issues have been resolved,especially with 3 and Vice City but it still has some minor issues, San An still has some work left.
Unfortunately for what you get, the asking price is borderline ridiculous.
@Trajan Are they available on the Microsoft store for Xbox Series S?
@Gamer_Zeus I didn’t know that. I’ll look into it, thanks!
@P-Man No idea. Only Xbox I have is the original.
@P-Man yeah i mean, it was such a train wreck on all platforms that they had to do something about it.
I think there will be more patches coming soon, eventually with a price cut and all the issues ironed out, it'll be decent. Unfortunately it'll be too little too late.
@P-Man It really is a shame that the only time Nintendo get a main line GTA game, it's broken AF and will probably sell terribly no matter what they do to it now, essentially murdering any hope of meaningful support from Rockstar.
I keep forgetting that Shin Megami Tensei II is I think the only game missing from my Super Famicom RPG collection. The only game in the main franchise I think that wasn't officially localized (they did the iOS port of SMT1 I hear but not 2), probably for being the most possibly sacrilegious of the franchise.
Then again I should not admit to owning even a complete copy of the only game on the console I could think of to possibly exceed it in naughty quality. For the completeness and history.
No mention of any main Pokemon games, I guess catching and forcing creatures to fight each other for prizes, money, entertainment, and fame isn't so naughty then.
Where else can you beat up Santa Claus, Buddha and Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior himself?
Perky Little Things, which has a physical-exclusive release that is more explicit than what is in the eShop looks extremely naughty, just falling short of depicting outright you-know-what, but explicit in every other respect (including full-frontal nudity) that they were able to get away with Nintendo’s permission (and the watchful eye of PEGI). This release would also certainly get an AO rating by the ESRB (and effectively banned) and likely banned by the Australian Board, not for the sexual content per se (there are no restrictions on nudity at the R18+ rating), but for the often questionable issue of “consent” in many of the scenarios (which would typically get an automatic ban, even if the act was merely implied, let alone depicted outright).
It’s tempting for the sheer audacity of it, but it’s far too vulgar for my taste. I believe Waifu Uncovered’s physical release is also the only way to play the game uncensored (though I can’t imagine why anyone would even want to considering the laughably poor quality of the still images and the bizarre use of troll-face memes).
Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 is a modestly immodest package with beautiful graphics, but the overall experience is hampered by in-game purchases for many of the game’s costumes, and it’s extremely grindy if one wants to unlock the unfortunately luck-based “dance” sequences without forking over real-world yen. Despite having English support from day one, this likely skipped the West due to reasons of “modern sensitivities”, though one would think that it would have received an eShop-exclusive release at the very least.
Ironically, Xtreme 2 was given a family-friendly rating of PG in Australia back in 2006 (comparable to PEGI 7/ESRB E10+), one of the most if not the most lenient rating issued for the game worldwide, but if rated now, would probably receive an MA15+ at the least (that’s two tiers higher) if not a full-blown R18+ due to the Board classifying “sexualised imagery” far more strictly than in the past, which is particularly stupid considering that full-frontal nudity is permissible (albeit in a non-sexualised context) at the legally unrestricted M category (comparable to PEGI 12/ESRB T) , while sexy poses without full-frontal nudity can be branded with an R18+ rating.
Also, speaking of GTA III, the “definitive” trilogy release is the first time that the game has been available (legally) uncut in Australia, as the original was banned due to the fact that one can solicit prostitutes, and take back their money after killing them, which constituted “sexual activity related to incentives and rewards”, which was not permissible at the MA15+ level (and the R18+ rating was not effective for games until 2013). In the cut Australian releases, they simply wandered about like all other pedestrians.
It’s a little surprising, considering the silly season and all, that The Binding of Isaac wasn’t mentioned in this article, which adherents of Abrahamic faiths may find offensive.
Carrion is brilliant, so many different ways of playing it, you can either go stealth or go all out running it grabbing stuff and throwing it around at people
Anyone who has bought GTA: Definitive Edition, a broken mess of a game, should be put on the naughty list for supporting games that get rushed during development. 😜
A non-sentient being/organism cannot, inherently be evil or naughty. It is it's nature to feed. That's like saying a tiger is evil for eating a gazelle!
@Gamer_Zeus This isn't the only time a main line GTA game is on a Nintendo system, Grand Theft Auto 1 & 2 on Game Boy Color were good, just that they are inferior ports.
@Specter_of-the_OLED didn't actually know they had GTA 1 and 2 on GBC, you say it was shoddy but are they still decent? I might look into it.
@Shadeon_Koopa there is no Santa where I live, but the name sounds equally to someone else 😈
You really said among us is just as bad as GTA. I'm leaving the site
@Gamer_Zeus They offered only the barebone experience of what a handheld could offer with those games, all the bells and whistles of the two games are still better experienced on PC and consoles but that doesn't mean they aren't fun.
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